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10 Bizarre Laws in Florida: Read It to Believe It

The law book is interesting simply because it holds the records of all that may have passed through our ancestors' heads. Looking at a law book, you can know what kept people thinking and busy since the beginning of your society as you know it. As it happens, laws keep accumulating, so much so that people just forget about them.

For example, Florida had a law which stated that doctors may not ask their patients whether they had a gun on them. Till 2013, if the patient just thought that the doctors were trying to make them feel bad for owning a gun, the doctor could be booked for disciplinary proceedings, their medical license could be revoked, and they might as well have ended up paying up to $10,000 per count.

Florida is a state wherein people end up in trouble (read, prisons) because of the weird laws of the land. The sad part; your loved one could be in prison because of inadvertently committing one of the several acts that Florida considers illegal. Open PrisonRoster, search for your loved one, and seek legal recourse. On the other hand, if all’s well for you and your family in Florida, all you need to enjoy some harmless laughter is to open to the law book.

Here is a list of 10 such weird laws which still exist in this state.

  1. You have to pay the parking fees for elephants tied to parking meters. Makes perfect sense, as most of us have a pachyderm or two in our backyards. In Sarasota, you have to pay standard parking fees and $25 extra in case you pass up the time limit. Not only that, in case you are parking your elephant illegally, then you need to pay a fine of $250. The origin of this law apparently goes back to 1927 when the Ringling Brothers Company moved their winter circus operations to this place.
  2. You can’t sell oranges. Yes, if you are found selling these on the streets of Miami, you may end up serving up to 30 days in prison.
  3. You can’t, urm, kiss your wife’s breasts. Not only that, you can only have sex in the missionary position. Also, oral sex is illegal.
  4. Do you know what happens when you steal someone's horse? You get hung to death apparently. They do take their cowboy memories seriously it seems.
  5. You can’t have sex with a porcupine. Like, aren’t we all dying to do that? Also, you can’t dress up as an animal during Halloween, or at any time for that matter.

On a good note, it is illegal to molest a Key Deer which is native to the Florida Keys and is an endangered species. As is confining a pregnant pig.

  1. Women would have a particularly hard time in Florida, especially unmarried women. If you are an unmarried woman, you can’t go parachuting. Not only that, you can’t go and live--in with your partner unless you are married. Yes, you read that right.

It doesn't end here. A woman can't break more than three dishes per day! Also, in case you are in a salon and doze off under the hairdryer, you may be fined. As would the owner of the salon.

They won’t leave you in peace even if you are dead, because you would be fined if you were electrocuted while using beauty products while on the bathtub.

Sometimes, it does get hard to believe that Florida is at the heart of the civilized world.

  1. As they do respect their dead. It’s illegal to drive vehicles over graves. While you and I may think it weird and actually troublesome to drive our cars over graves, someone must have done something at some point in the past to bring this law to pass.
  2. As they have strict views on nudity. You can't walk naked or topless within an area of 150 feet near a street from the beach. So, if you are thinking of leaving your hotel room, have your clothes on you. Not only that, even if you are a topless dancer, you are not, urm, allowed to be topless.

It should also be added here that you can’t wear a swimsuit and sing at the beach at the same time.

  1. You can't be broke. Actually yes. If you are at Pensacola, you technically should have not less than $10 on you.
  2. And finally, you can't wear a strapless gown if you are a man. Also, it is illegal to perform unnatural acts here, which is a very vague expression true. But which can acquire very serious meanings considering the fact that the same phrase has been used across countries to persecute queer people. The Orlando shooting, remember?

Concluding Remarks:

The list does not end here actually. A traditionally Republican state, Florida is at the heart of the infamous American south. Which explains most of the weirdness in this list. But the good part is, we have reached at a juncture today when we can actually look at these laws as weird. And some of it is fun. For example, selling cheese is still illegal in some parts of this state, as is molesting a dustbin.